Danger Island Part Two

So there we were, The racist Burt sitting on the dock in his soaked clothes, staring at me like he was going to rip my throat out the first chance he got. Ralph was up in the bathroom with one of the guests, taking a shower and warming up. The boat with my friend Jack at the helm tied up with the other two people. They were a man and woman who both had the look of lifetime alchoholics, red blotchy skin, wrinkled skin,noses with broken blood vessels and, despite having been in the water for at least a few minutes, they smelled like Tequilla.

After he tied up and got out of the boat I waved Jack over to where I was still watching the ramp to the grounds to keep Burt from charging. I explained what Ralph said had happened and Jack Laughed "They didn't make much sense but those two that we just got said they hit something and the boat tipped over."


"Lots of stories," I laughed. At that Burt started yelling. "How come the N__ger gets to take a shower? What about us?" Pete and Jack and I huddled for a minute and decided that we had to keep them separated from Ralph so Pete sent one of the boat owners up to get Ralph out of the Bathroom and and bring him a back way back to the dock while Jack lead the rest up to the bathroom so no one would confront anyone.

The scraggly threesome went up the walkway with Jack and a few seconds later Ralph came down another path. As soon as he got to the dock he said he was missing his wallet. "It probably fell out in the water" I said." " I dunno. I think of them assh__es took it."

We decided to leave the rest of the group up in the bathroom until the Coast Guard came. The Delta is hot during the day but it's cold and foggy at night. Most of us were still wearing shorts and shivering there on the dock. I really wanted to go back to bed but this group seemed pretty sketchy and I wanted to make sure nothing happened. Suddenly I heard Burt yelling again from up the walk. "You can't keep us in here. We got rights." Suddenly Pete's radio crackled. It was the Coast Guard they were about two minutes out. We could actually vaguely hear the boat's engine. I yelled up to Jack to let them come back down.

As they got back to the ramp Burt almost immediately started to run down the ramp toward Ralph who was sitting, dejectedly on the deck. "I'm gonna kill you, you motherf__ker" I jumped up again to block him and he yelled "get out of my you n___er lover".
"you migh want to think twice about that." And I pointed at the Coast Guard boat that was now just a few hundred yards off shore. Several Armed men standing on deck. Burt practically deflated and just sat down on the ramp.  It really did feel like the Calvary arriving in the nick of time. I don't know how much longer I could have bluffed Burt with my tough guy act.

A couple of the Coasties got off the boat and talked to Jack who explained our end of the story and the stories that the group told us. The coasties just shook their heads and one of them said."typical Saturday night on the Delta."

They lead the group, Ralph First, followed by a a couple of sailors and then the rest. As the boat pulled out Burt was standing on Deck. He did one of those two finger pointing at his eyes then mine moves and shouted "I'm coming back." The Coastie standing next to him, looked directly at me gave me a small smile, touched a pair of what looked like handcuffs and shook his head as if to say "no way".

After they left I realized, with everything going on I hadn't peed in hours  so I ran up to the men's room. While I was washing my hands I glanced down at the trash and noticed something covered by a few paper towels. I reached in and found a wallet. It was empty except for an California ID belonging to Ralph.  One of them must have taken it from him and then hid it here, probably expecting to be searched by the coast guard.

The next day I was making breakfast in one of the outdoor cooking areas.We'd heard from the Coast Guard  I looked up and saw Jack come running across the lawn with a huge smile on his face.  He's one of the most serious people I know but he did an actual cartwheel. I laughed and asked him what was up. "Well first I just talked to Pete, the Coasties charged Burt with Piloting a Boat While Inxociated. But the big thing is the club is going to pay for our entire weekend for helping out last night." Those pancakes tasted especially good that morning.

Danger Island

Memorial Day just passed which reminded me of one of my strangest weekends ever. I have friend named Jack who loved to sail. His family were members of the Saint Francis Yacht Club in San Francisco. His dad died of cancer when Jack was 21 but because his dad had been a board member Jack was given a lifetime membership.

One of the perks of the club was that they owned a small island on the Sacramento Delta called Tinsley. The delta is a long chain of rivers and Islands The island was very small, but it had a nice lawn area, pool, bbqs and lodgings which Jack got for half price which was  a big deal for us in our early twenties. The other, better off members of the club would bring their boats and stay on those. But there was a converted lighthouse with several rooms boatless people. Aside from the two of us who were in our twenties most of the rest of the guests were much older.

Jack and I had stopped at the "crawfish guy" on the way up and had a feast of crawfish, corn and a couple of beers. Another member had a pavlova cake that he insisted was left over and he gave that to us. Full and a little tipsy, we turned in around 10:00 in our room at the top of the lighthouse. It was a warm night and we had our windows open.

I think I had been asleep for maybe an hour when I started dreaming that I was hearing screaming. Suddenly I found myself awake and saw Jack throwing on a pair of shorts. The screaming was coming from somewhere out in the Delta. Maybe 4 or 5 voices yelling "help. Our boat flipped. Help."

Jack  was not only a sailor, but was also an EMT and volunteer firefighter and he loved action and drama. In about 1 minute we were running down to the dock where the Island manager and a few guests were already getting a little skiff  ready.  Jack and a couple of the guys jumped into the boat, leaving me to help whoever they brought back since I had First Aid and CPR training. It was a foggy night and the boat was out of site in a few seconds.

Me, Pete, the Island manager, and a few older guests stood on the dock hearing our guys calling out and the victims yelling back. After a few tense minutes we heard Pete's radio crackle with Jacks voice "We found em. They managed to swim to a little island. They're are four of them we're going to bring back two at a time."

A few minutes later they brought back two soaking wet guys. One of them was a guy in his late 20's with long hair, a scruffy beard and what looked like prison tatoos. The other guy was a youngish African American guy. The both walked up the dock and Jack his crew went back out. I took a look at them both, they were just a little cold and wet so we gave them towels and coffee.

The African American guy who said he was named Ralph turned his back to the other guy and looked scared. The other guy was shooting daggers at Ralph. I would have been happy to just keep everyone quiet but this sort of loud guy named Saul who had made it clear he liked to be in charge started asking questions. He asked the other guy, Burt, what happened. Burt's face got deep red, and he started breathing in an angry way "That N---er flipped our boat. We were out drinking beer and he got drunk and stood up and started jumping up and down."

Ralph jumped up. "That's not true. You and your f__king friends were trying to kill me." He looked at me, "we work in the same canning plant and they asked me out on their boat. They stopped the boat and started calling me the N word and stuff and then..." He looked at Burt" You said you were going to beat the sh_t out of me. So I jumped out of the boat."

At that Burt jumped up to attack Ralph. Ralph jumped up to defend himself and somehow I got caught in the middle facing Burt who was swinging his arms wildly and cursing. With me trapped in the middle on this slippery dock, having huge fists pummeling me, I heard Sol yell "Throw them in the water. They're all crazy. Cool em off."

I realized that no one knew me like they did Jack and they probably thought I'd come of the boat too. I started yelling "I'm a guest. I'm trying to stop this fight. Help me." After a few more rounds of "cool em off". Pete who had been on the phone with the coast guard and another youngish guy came back down and grabbed Burt and pulled him off of me. With that Ralph calmed down.  Pete suggested Ralph go up to the poolhouse to take a warm shower. So Saul escorted him up.

After a minute Burt tried to run up the ramp to find Ralph. I jumped up and blocked the ramp. And he screamed for me to get out of his way. I'm not a tough guy but I can also hold my own and I told him to sit down and wait for his friends. Pete also reminded him that the Coast Guard were on their way which seemed to make him settle down a bit. I guess he didn't want to give them any reason to arrest him.

(Next time the thrilling conclusion)

GoodHeart

My last name means GoodHeart in German and I've spent 52 years trying to live up to that. It's hard, there are days when I can be the biggest jerk on the planet but I do try. I don't know much about my dad's side of the family and I don't know the origins of the name, but I've always assumed there was a scholar or Rabbi somewhere in there who actually earned the name.

Though I don't know the origins of the name I do know that my dad and his parents lived up to the name. My dad is really one of the gentlest and truly kind people I know. As a kid you always see your grandparents through deeply rose colored glasses but there is very little negative I can remember about Benny and Selma either of . My dad is and his parent's were truly goodhearts!

As a kid we spent a lot of time with them. My grandfather worked the race track circuit as a paramutual agent(the guy who takes your bet). That meant during the summer Poppa Benny would spend time in Stockton for the State fair and Santa Rosa for the Santa Rosa county fair. My brother and I  would usually spend a week or two with them. We'd usually all stay in the same room them in one double bed and me and my brother in the other; my sister is 7 years younger and I'm pretty sure my grandfather retired by the time she would have been old enough to stay with us.

We'd lay in bed at night in the dark and she'd tell us all kinds of stories about their travels(which was odd because the only travelling they did when I was a kid was to these fairs). She talked about Los Angaleez(that's how she pronounced it)  and meeting Clark Gable at a hamburger joint and about the geyser in California where she was certain the owner would turn it on from a faucet when the crowd got big enough. If she was mad at us she'd threaten to give us fifty lashes with a wet noodle. I guess that was a phrase that was popular when she was younger, but she had a bathrobe that had a long, ropey tie on it that she sort of tap us with if were bad. She always giggled when she did do it.

Their favorite place for breakfast was a chain called Sambos They actually had the story of Little Black Sambo painted in a mural on the wall. By the early 70's someone figured out that this was deeply racist and changed the name to Sharis. In any case, once we liked something they always made us order the same thing. I don't think it was a bossy thing, I think they just got great joy out of  watching us enjoy things. So I always had to get a Monte Christo and my brother always had to get Chocolate Chip Pancakes. Thank god I never mentioned how much I like beef liver; imagine eating that at every meal.

In Santa Rosa there was a german place called The Black Forest. On birthdays they would play a Hurdy Gurdy machine with Happy Birthday on it. Even though my Grandfather's birthday was in October Selma would  always tell them it was my grandpas birthday. They'd come out with the Hurdy Gurdy and then the waitress would kiss him on top of his bald head and leave a huge lipstick mark. He always acted surprised.

My favorite memory was the summer of 69; the moon landing. They would always invite their friends to the hotel we stayed at in Santa Rosa, The Flamingo. They'd spend a couple of epic days with the women having Mah Jhong Tournaments and the men drinking beer and playing Canasta. They'd get a bunch of rooms together and put some card tables on the lawn in front. For the moon landing they dragged a TV(one of those giant consoles) onto the lawn and we all watched along with Walter Cronkite as Neil Armstrong landed on the moon. Everyone cheered and, while I didn't understand why they all were teary eyed back then, I get tears in my eyes whenever I watch clips of the moon landing now.

There were some bad days too. I remember my mom coming up and screaming at my brother in a drunken rage about something and Selma whispering (terrible, terrible) under here breath. There was the time Selma forbid me to ever read Mad Magazine again because she misunderstood a cartoon that satirized the hypocrisy and racism of the time with an American Flag using every hateful racial word possible written in the stripes. But mostly those were times I remember in a shimmery light.

(more next time)

Last Train Out of Oakland

My last and hardest teaching job in California ended in death and destruction; literally. I managed to find a job running the afterschool program at an Oakland YMCA. It was the worst, most dsyfunctional place I'd ever worked(until I got into the Internet business in the 90's). It was in a school gym where the principal hated the program so much that she was always threatening to kick us out of the gym we used as our "classroom" if everything wasn't locked up in closets and out of the way for school assemblies. There were something like a hundred kids and a staff of 4.

The parents didn't like me. They thought I wasn't disciplined enough. The previous teacher had been a stern woman who apparently the kids were terrified of so that they'd  never act up; Miss Mamie. I had the impression there may have been some spanking involved. The staff was untrained, the kids were rowdy and the facility was awful. I despised every minute of that job. My forty minute Muni/BART ride from SF was one of complete dread and fear. I usually feel asleep from stress the minute I got on the  BART train. The one good thing that came up was that Lisa got a job offer in Seattle. I didn't want to move but the thought of leaving this hell-hole made moving seem almost pleasant.

My last day at this horrible job was also a school holiday. What this meant was not only would my center be open and filled with kids whose parents had to work but the other two programs in the other schools in the area would also come to our facility; maybe 120 kids or more. For all these kids I had 3 teachers that day plus 1 aid each from the other schools. My boss was furious that I was leaving and didn't give me any extra help.

It was basically crowd control at this point. We set up two TVs with kids movies, an art table and some games outside. After stopping 3 or 4 fights I decided that we needed a change of scenerey.

The one good thing about this place was that it was near the lake in Downtown Oakland. So after a morning of breaking up fights and not being able to get anything started I took the crowd over to the lake. I broke the group up into 4 groups and sent each group off. 

Things were going okay. My group was playing kickball when one of the aids from the group I'd sent to play by the lake  ran over screaming for me to come right away. I aksed what the problem was but she said "you just need to come." When I got there I saw a park ranger and a woman in her twenties and one of the first graders named Damien standing in a little semi circle. No one looked happy. Damien was a kid from one of the other schools who I'd already seen was troubled. He was very aggressive with other kids, biting, hitting etc.. He had no facial affect and he had already instigated several fights.

The young woman had tears in her eyes, the ranger had laser beams shooting out of her eyes directed at me. Damien who was from one of the other schools was a kid who a bad reputation. It can never be good when someone whose only been on this planet for 6 years already has a bad rep. The ranger icily asked me if I was in charge and I answered yes and asked what was wrong.

At that point the young woman started talking and crying. "I'm a park volunteer and I was down here cleaning up litter when I looked up and saw that boy come over toward the ducks who were sitting here getting sun. Before I could say anything he looked at that duck, jumped in the air and then...." she sobbed..."and then he jumped on that duck." She pointed and for the first time I saw a flattened, apparently dead duck."He killed that duck." It took me a full minute to absorb that. Damien had absolutely no expression on his face.

The ranger was furious and I don't know how, but somehow I managed to talk her out of giving me a citation. I didn't even bother trying to talk to Damien, he already had a demented look in his eyes. When I told his mom this story at the end of the day she screamed obscenities at him and threated to "beat the shit out of him." My last act at that center was to call my director tell her the story, tell her about the kid's mom and tell her that she really need to either shut that facility down or put some money into hiring a proper staff. 

As I road BART home to my apartment in SF my last image of that horrible place was of a flattened duck and psychopathic child. 20 years later I still think about him and if he's been able to overcome his problems.

How the Giant felt

There's this great series of videos by the Fine Brothers where they show kids and teens some pop culture or social item and record their honest reactions. Every time I watch one of these it makes me a little nostalgic for working with kids and I wonder if I want to go back to it in some capacity, maybe teaching again or counseling.

I still have that strange kid magnet vibe I've always had. Just the other day I had not  one but two different mothers comment on how odd it was that their babies were "fascinated" by me. I've had more than a few kids walk up to me in big box stores and ask me in  a calm way, as though I was a family friend, where their parents were. Kids are always walking up to me on the beach and just saying hi.

But then I think  back to my teaching days. Most of the time everything went just fine. Occasionally I'd have a kid who was a "little energetic". There were the years I ran the summer camp which had many Russian Jewish kids who had just come from Soviet Russia and were boisterous to say the least. There was Alex who stole the hammers out of a piano. Let's just say the music teacher wasn't to happy when she went to play Dona Dona at the big family Shabbat gathering and couldn't make the piano work right.

There was his buddy Ruslan who threw a rock through a sliding glass window of the Temple next door that we shared space with. The Rabbi called me and Ruslan and his father to a meeting. A meeting with the Rabbi is not something to look forward to. At the meeting, the Rabbi who was not of the wise, patient variety but more of the harried, not particularly interested in dealing with small things type, asked Ruslan why he did it. Ruslan's answer "I didn't think it would do anything." Ruslan's dady said incredulous how could you "think it wouldn't do anything. It was a rock." Ruslan's answer, in his thick accent. "It was just a leetle rock."

Most of that was typical stuff. But for a couple of years I ran a very tiny daycare program for that same Agency. This was a program that had no money, no plan and pretty much no support. There was me and a youth director who might occasionally give me a break. We worked out of a portable classroom on the property of a mostly abandoned school across the street that had a few tenants. Even though this was an almost neglected program it had one very import factor. There were about 7 kids in this program one of them was the son of the director of the entire local Jewish Community Center agency, the other was the daughter of the director of my branch of the JCC and there were several board member's kids.

I've always been really bad at playing job politics and I didn't see any reason to treat these kids differently. The problems was they were a bunch of  difficult kids. Jeremy, the son of the Director was an angry and spoiled kid who even at 7 seemed to know that his dad was important. He was always arguing and giving me a hard time.  On this particularly day we were all playing Four Square in a distant back part of the school. It was late in the day and the administrative staff and my boss were all gone. I was the only adult around.

Jeremy was up and he got out and was angry and threw the ball so that it rolled down a walkway. I asked him to get the ball and he shouted "no." I asked him again and this time he yelled "NO". I walked over to him to try to get him to calm down and his face was red and there was real anger in his eyes.

He was inches from me; I'm about 5;11 he was a little 3.5 foot tall kid. I was about ask him to sit down on a bench and suddenly he swung out with a tiny fist. Instantly I felt a sharp pain in my crotch and in another nano second I was on the ground writhing in pain. The little brat had just punched me in the crotch. The teacher in me wanted to get up and deal with this, but my brain and nether region had different ideas.   I don't know what causes a grown man to go into the fetal position but there I was completely paralyzed. When I look back now I see stars flying around like in a cartoon.To add insult to injury this kid wasn't  upset, or embarrassed or apologetic, he was standing right over me laughing and taunting me like Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania.

Finally after what seemed like 20 minutes I managed to stand up, orderered him to get the ball and then to sit down away from the group. By now I think he realized he was in serious trouble. Unfortunately his au pair came to pick him up that day and although I told her what had happened I knew she probably wouldn't explain it properly to the parents. I told my boss about it the next day and she said she'd deal with it. But I got the impression that because this was the big bosses kid not much was going to happen. I think my boss made him sit in her office for a day.  Oddly enough the agency dropped the funding for that program a few months later.

I tell that story a lot and it always makes everyone laugh, but I still get a pain deep in my crotch whenever I tell it.

To be continued with more tales from my kid days.